Spring break is here!!! I'm up at our cattle ranch with my dad and grandparents. And all the cows too. It's been a bit strange. Two weeks ago our beloved puppy dog, Molly, passed away, and this might be the first time in 13 years I've been here to the ranch without her. While on the tractor with Dad, I kept looking out expecting to see her running alongside us, barking with her big happy smile. Here's to the best cow dog and furry friend there ever was:
Yesterday while feeding the cows, Dad asked me if I wanted to see the bunny in one of our abandoned eagle's nests. "Bunny? What kind of bird looks like a bunny?" (One year a goose nested in the eagle's old home. That was a sight). I didn't see anything at first, she was so well hidden. But finally I saw the two bunny ears! Guess hoo our new neighbor is! :D
I'm thankful to be at our ranch in Wyoming with my grandparents, Dad, and our dog Molly. I'm grateful for clean fresh air. I'm grateful for safe travel and that I wasn't in the ice storm. I'm thankful for amazing friends, for a warm house, for glistening Christmas lights, and that I could help my dad feed the cows for the first time in two years. I'm thankful for daddy-daughter time, for head and shoulder rubs, and for quiet time to ponder. I'm thankful I don't have homework, for ideas for summer employment, and for little moments of inspiration. I'm thankful for opportunities to reconnect with people I havent seen since I was little, and that I can learn from their skills and talents. I'm thankful for time to work on projects I've been dreaming about for years.
Yesterday a friend reminded me of being grateful for little things. Today, a little something that came to mind is a song I loved as a toddler, "Give, Said the Little Stream."* I never knew the lyrics to the second and third verses until this year, and they are beautiful:
Background: On Facebook one of my friends posted a link to an article on thesecondbreakfastblog in which Morgan Reber interviews a young adult woman addicted to pornography. I was touched by her message of coming to understand God's love for her because sometimes it is hard for me to love myself when I make mistakes.
I am in awe of this honest interview by Morgan Reber on thesecondbreakfastblog of a young adult woman about her years-long addiction to pornography, and how she has learned to rely on the Lord our Savior and His Atonement. The following excerpt describes an experience that helps her trust the Lord's pure and eternal love for her:
[Interviewer]: I was recently watching a TED talk about the difference between guilt and shame—guilt is “I did a bad thing”, shame is “I am a bad person", and I think in a religion that emphasizes good works it can be hard to differentiate between the two, which sometimes makes it hard for us to truly accept the Atonement. It’s difficult for us to realize that God’s love never wavers and our divine nature never changes.
[Interviewee]: The difference between guilt and shame, I think, is a huge thing. I remember one experience I had. It was my sophomore year in college. I remember I messed up again for the millionth time, and I was so frustrated with myself. I was praying, but I was yelling at anything that would listen, “Heavenly Father, how can you forgive me? I keep doing it, then I keep apologizing, but I keep doing it and then apologizing. Why do you keep buying it? I’m not even buying it anymore!”
But then I got this overwhelming impression saying, “Stop pretending you understand how much I love you or how I can forgive you, because you never will be able to. Just trust that I can. That’s all you need to know.” [emphasis added]
I testify that no matter how many times we mess up, no matter how "small" or "big" our mistakes are, how deep in our personal abyss we may return to over and over, God knows and loves us. He knows our hearts, and through the power and grace of His Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ, we are cleansed and made whole.
"Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing", performed by the BYU Combined Chorusus
Guess how I celebrated my Halloween? Apart from making fun sugar cookies?
Yup. For 15 whole minutes. :) I had never attended a dance party* before, and am thankful for the three roommates who wanted to go. It was long enough to have fun, and short enough to prevent any headaches. :) And Ailina, bless her soul forever, taught me a method to the madness of how-to-dance-to-modern-music: first move your legs, then move your arms, then move your head. Do it all together and try not to hit anyone. :) And I did it!--not the hitting part ;)
Several years ago I was traveling by myself, returning home from a humanitarian service trip in a developing country. When my second connecting flight to leave that country was overbooked, I was actually thrilled, excited to have an extra day to explore markets and enjoy the food and culture I so much relished.
Yet the next night, I and others in our group realized that the airline workers were deliberately delaying our departure. We learned that because all of the flights leaving that airport had been overbooked (I later learned by seven full days), the workers would delay incoming passengers from reaching their connecting flight so that the passengers delayed the day before would be able to board.
Yesterday was a wonderful day. One of my landscaping buddies brought his two raised-from-the-wild monarch butterflies to class in a box, with the intention of releasing them when it got sufficiently warm. He asked if I wanted to hold one, and it was a purely magical moment. The first time in my whole life I've ever held a butterfly.
Two hours later I gasped at the paper in front of me. Eight accounting homework pages later and the two final numbers were equal! I nearly threw my arms into the air yelling jubilation, but that would have induced cardiac arrest in the other accounting students in the near-silent library room. So I just skipped out of the library and all the way home. :)
The rain started trickling onto our rooftop tap tap tap and pretty soon came a louder rap rap rap on our door, and Miria excitedly got us out of our room into the parking lot where we danced danced danced in the dark night with the rain rain rain.
The rain came down faster faster faster and soon we were singing singing singing up at Ailina's window, and she came down down down to join us. The shoes came off, our hair got drippy drippy drippy, and the laughter and waltzes flowed. I had the wrong timing timing timing but it was so fun fun fun. :)
I am thankful thankful thankful for the blessed sister and roommates I live with. For peace, love, laughter and joy in unforgettable moments moments moments that I will treasure treasure treasure forever.
And the rain still falls down down down... :)
With whom do you dance dance dance in the rain? :)
When Drue gushed to me about a Big Band concert on campus, my first reactions were a mix of "I still don't know what big band is" and "well it would probably be fun with her" and "maybe I dont want to use my night like that".
For four months I have planned on studying abroad this coming spring semester in Spain. While I have been excited to go, I have also been ignoring doubts about whether or not I should. This week I have been blessed by counsel by family who have helped me recognize promptings that God had been sending me, but that I had been all-to-willing to ignore.
I laughed out loud when I opened this because I had been ignoring doubts I'd been feeling for some time. Note to my sister, "some time"--this was not the only one. ;)
Ignoring my fortune cookie, last Friday I submitted my application to study abroad. Two nights ago my dad told me my grandpa had asked him, about me, the following:
1) What am I going to do with my life and 2) Why was I going to Spain?
Tonight I am grateful for simple acts of love. My sister Drue and I have lived in our new college dorm room together for four days now. It is the first time in over 15 years we have shared a room. Bless her soul, right now she is boiling some water for the "Throat Tamer Tea" we bought last night for my cold. I am grateful I no longer live in my beloved solitary "hobbit hole", but with someone who is so thoughtful, cheerful and kind.
On Sunday my aunt gave me an incredible foot zone even though her family had to dash up to our ranch, and my uncle went and picked a luscious green melon for me to bring up to school. After he came back in, he told me one of my favorite stories of how while in Hong Kong, his mom called him to tell him my brother and I had been born. My heart filled with love and appreciation for this family that is literally my "other family", another mother, father, and siblings to me. Monday morning another aunt and my cousins changed their schedule on minute's notice in order to help me feel better. I am grateful to live close to those who mean the world to me.
What Matters Most: This video clip is a beautiful reminder to take time to show our love to those we love.
I took a residential landscaping class in 2011 that changed my life. Prior to that class, I had imagined every home landscape as a mini farm, and while I sure enjoyed that, my mom didn't. I realized that if anyone was going to want to change their home landscape to produce their own food, it had better look gorgeous too.
And that class helped me discover how delightful a flower garden could be.
The first "landscape" I was able to do was in my grandparent's front yard in Wyoming in the summer of 2011. It looked fantastic. I was excited to come home and see how large all the flowers had grown.
The water-wise flowers attracted hummingbirds and butterflies.
This last Monday Dad, Mom, my two younger sisters and I drove up to our family ranch to be with my brother and grandparents and other extended family to harvest and store the hay. While Dad, my brother, and youngest sister have driven giant tractors, I've learned how to cook meals for 10-14 people at a time, and have decided against ever cooking at a restaurant. ;)
Camping, cooking, talking, being with little children, and a magical sunrise have made this a week I'm grateful for.
This afternoon I felt exhilarated after working three+ hours with Mom cleaning up an extraordinarily messy blackberry patch, but tonight I felt overwhelmed. I am grateful for all three stewardships my family shares responsibility for (a family ranch, a family farm, and the house+property my immediate family actually lives on), but sometimes it is hard to work and work and work and NEVER be done.
So it was a sweet moment reading these words tonight:
"Let no man count them as small things; for there is much which lieth in futurity, pertaining to the saints, which depends upon these things.
You know, brethren [and sisters], that a very large ship is benefited very much by a very small helm in the time of a storm, by being kept workways with the wind and the waves.
Therefore, dearly beloved brethren [and sisters], let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed."
--to be home :)
--to have gone to my sister's band concert and see her be singled out and applauded for her efforts
--for fun music
--for my friends
--that we finally got the tomatoes and melons planted in the garden (woot!)
--for totally awesome edible landscaping and waterwise gardening catalogues :) :) :)
--for totally awesome plants that look like they came from outer space
I'm typing this in a dorm room at the University of Wisconsin. My family is here because one of my sisters is competing with her teammates at the national Science Olympiad tournament. I love being here along for the ride, without the stress of being a competitor. :)
Virtue:
1) behavior showing high moral standards
--a quality considered morally good or desirable in a person
--virginity or chastity
Origin: from Latin virtus "valor, merit, moral perfection"
Tonight I had a difficult experience. I was walking back to our dorms with my family and our team, when I smiled and said "Hi" to a poorly dressed man. His reply was a quiet "Hi, Babe", and I realized a minute later that he had turned around and was following our group about 10 feet away. I felt vulnerable and nervous, and changed my position to be on the other side of my parents, further away from him. He finally crossed the street and I saw him checking out other women as we continued walking.
Spring break is here!!! I'm up at our cattle ranch with my dad and grandparents. And all the cows too. It's been a bit strange. Two weeks ago our beloved puppy dog, Molly, passed away, and this might be the first time in 13 years I've been here to the ranch without her. While on the tractor with Dad, I kept looking out expecting to see her running alongside us, barking with her big happy smile. Here's to the best cow dog and furry friend there ever was:
