India: Homesickness, the zoo, and a "Talk, --Not"

The following was written July 11, edited on July 14th.

The past week has been particularly difficult. I think the pollution, noise, and lowish team moral are taking their toll. It is getting harder to truly smile, it's tougher to positively visualize, and I'm thinking more and more about home. I told Mom I keep telling myself I'm going to go camping with my family in woods by a stream, and we can give each other shoulder rubs and head massages.

Mom gave me another positive affirmation to repeat to myself: I can do anything for 10 more days.

And even though I'll be happy to get home, I'm feeling panicky about what I still want to do. I feel like time is slipping through my fingers so fast I'm scrambling to hold onto handfuls. It was a hard realization at church today that it would probably be the last time I would see most of those people.

I'm trying to put positive spins on everything. For instance, repeatedly telling myself "Mosquitoes don't like to bite me" actually seems to work: even when my feet looked like a two year old had gone to town with a red coloring marker, they didn't itch because I pretended bites weren't there. The imagination is truly incredible. :)

On Friday we went to Central Market. We went down an alley about 6 feet wide with shops on both sides. We sat outside one shop while K. and N. went in, and in the course of about 10 minutes, had fun watching the passing people. First a rickshaw driver stopped in front of the shop opposite us to unload tons of plastic containers. That caused motorcycle and pedestrian backup on either side of him. After he finished and rolled his auto back out the alley (apparently they can't be driven backwards, only pushed in neutral), two guys pushed a large, broken-down, old swamp cooler past us (they are about four feet tall, 1 1/2 feet deep and 1 1/2 feet wide, on four spindly wheels). Then a man pulled up his wooden cart (powered by bicycle) loaded with three-foot long blue canvas duffle bags right in front of us, and asked us to move. He started unloading them into the fabric store behind where we'd sat.

I enjoyed the market. :)

We went to the zoo on Saturday. I was looking forward to a rejuvenating break and to riding an elephant. We found out at the zoo that they don't offer the rides anymore. The zoo was neat because of the set up. There were lots of large grassy areas for relaxation. The tigers had their own large islands surrounded by a 10 foot wide moat with a 20 foot high cement wall. It did bother me that the cranes and deer seemed to get a lot more cage space than the big cats. The sloth bear was fun to watch. One of a pair loped back and forth as close as he could get to the crowd, which was about 10 feet away across a moat, only without the 20 ft separation like the tiger had. M. was fairly concerned he was going to be an escapee. The bear reminded me of Alex the Lion in the Madagascar movies. It was also nice to feel like the animals were more of an attraction than we were, and Ma. very firmly put a stop to any photo shoots early on our arrival (“No! No photos!”).

Remember how I was asked to prepare a back-up talk for church today? Well, I prepared one but ended up not giving it. So instead of giving the branch my talk, I'm going to share a summary with you. :)

In this past April's General Conference*, Elder Koichi Aoyagi closed his talk with a quote by our prophet, President Thomas S. Monson. "'My brothers and sisters, we are surrounded by those in need of our attention, our encouragement, our support, our comfort, our kindness--be they family members, friends, acquaintances, or strangers. We are the Lord's hands here upon the earth, with the mandate to serve and to lift His children. He is dependent upon each of us.' May we follow the counsel and example of the prophet and each day seek out those in need, that we might be the hands of the Lord in helping and saving His children, I pray in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

I know when we choose to be instruments in the Lord’s hands, He is able work miracles through us. Even though I'm a flawed tool that needs duct tape often, He is able to clean me up through His Atonement.

I know I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father, and that He knows and loves me. I know He knows and loves you too. I am grateful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, because it is the only church on Earth today that has His Priesthood authority to govern, and administer the saving ordinances that allow families to be together forever. In the name of our Father's Firstborn Son, Jesus Christ, Amen.

*Over two days twice a year, Church members view or attend four-to-five two-hour sessions where we are taught by Church leaders.